If you have picked up a news paper, a magazine or watched your television lately it is very apparent to most that the world in which we live is having an identity crisis. Whether it is race, nationality, sexual orientation/preference or religious beliefs our world is at odds with itself on what defines it. At first glance we are led to believe that this crisis is only now become an issue. The truth is, we have been wrestling with our identities since the serpent approached Eve in the garden of Eden. He lied to Eve then and the serpent is still lying to us now. He uses thoughts of power, your fear of weakness or defeat. What will they think? What will they do? What will they say? He uses our past and current perspective to narrow our vision of who we are to manipulate us into thinking we are not good enough in whatever it is we struggle with.
On a personal note, I have always had issues with not measuring up. I was the smallest guy in class. I felt as if I was the weakest guy in the room. The ugliest guy in the room. Let’s just face it, I had bought the lie of the enemy that I was never going to be as good as everyone else. At the present moment I am 6’1” and weigh in around 275 lbs. I’m in the gym 5 days a week and try to stay in stay in shape. I do this now because I was headed down a bad road physically and some health issues woke me up to the fact that if I didn’t do something, I may not live to see my grandchildren. So, I began a journey to changing my health habits and the way I looked at myself. I say all that to tell you this, I still look in the mirror and see that 13-year-old little boy who always saw himself as a loser. It’s funny to me, how at age 45, I still see that boy and all his doubts and insecurities instead of the man that I have become.
I’ve had the opportunity to listen and converse with men of all walks of life and the one thing we all seem to have in common is that boy in the mirror. The enemy used to back me in a corner. He used to tell me that I would never be what my dad expected me to be. That I would never make my dad proud. Now my dad never told me that. He was quite the opposite. He always told me I had the talents and abilities to do anything I wanted. He told me he was proud of me. So why did I buy the lie that I would never measure up?
Comparison, it is the tool that under minds the giftings and talents that God has placed inside you; that’s why. I saw someone do something better than me. I experienced a failure while seeing someone else succeed. Instead of using the talents and abilities placed in me by the Father, I compared my weakness to someone else’s gifting. Instead of learning to celebrate their victory, I compared it to my failure. What God meant to shape and mold me I unknowingly allowed the enemy to tear apart little by little until I settled for less than. Your God given strengths and abilities are beyond comparison. I was never meant to take my talents and be you. You were never meant to use your talents and be me. God took the time to create in you a recipe for victory that only you have the tools to make it happen the way God designed for you. We must understand we are just like our fingerprints. There is not a single fingerprint on any finger that is the same as another. Not just another person’s fingerprint. They’re different for each finger on our own hands. If God took the time to place that kind of detail on your fingers, I can’t even comprehend the details of the very fabric of your life that he has set in place just for you.
I spent years trying to measure up to a comparison of what God had designed for some else. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do the things I saw others do. I succeeded at things that never fulfilled anything. It just created a drive that pushed me further from what God had for me. I thought I had to be what others appeared to be. That never satisfied me. I still never felt that I measured up. I always felt as if I was never good enough and that led to a bad way of thinking that maybe I was unworthy. As a Christian, I thought that because of my past I would never be able to see or do certain things because I wasn’t capable of being good enough. I always pushed to be the best I could be. The best usher, greeter, deacon, preacher, disciple and anything else to make me appear good. I was at war with what I was and what God said I am. Hence our identity crisis. We have an image of what will work, fit in, succeed or just make someone else happy. Then there is what God has designed us to be. If everyone is honest most of us are struggling somewhere in between the two images.
Now that we understand why the crisis, I want to take a minute to help stop the spread to future generations. My dad had this same struggle and so did his dad. Now I have had it and I must do what I can to see that my children understand this sooner than I did. Sir, you must heal your wounds and allow your children to see and understand this process so that they can avoid what we have wallowed in. We must use the Word of God as it was designed; to train and grow ourselves and our families for a life of furthering the kingdom of God. When we allow the word to heal, encourage and strengthen us then and only then can we walk these things out in front of our children so that they will have an example to build a foundation that will instill strengths in the next generation that we could only dream of. Don’t overcome your weaknesses and then leave the next generation to figure it out alone. Be a mentor and share your experiences so they don’t have to struggle for lack of knowledge.
So, what is the first step to working thru your identity crisis? First and foremost a relationship with Jesus. My prayer is that you already have that covered. To have a relationship there must be communication. Prayer is communication with the Father. It doesn’t have to be anything formal; it just has to happen daily. Tell Him what you think. Let Him know what you feel. Then ask for His help and wait for Him to reveal himself to you. Here is the hardest part of all. We must learn to be accountable for our struggles and how we deal with them. You must talk to someone. You need to find another Christian brother to share your struggles and triumphs with. We will never rise above what we are not willing to be accountable for, ever! If you refuse to answer for your actions, good and bad, then you will never be greater than what you struggle with. Once we learn accountability, we can begin to build a foundation upon which we can stand when the enemy comes to knock us down. While you are learning to be accountable learn to devour the Word of God. Read your Bible. Read it like you and your family’s lives depend on it, because they do. As you read it will show you areas that need mending. It will encourage you to stretch yourself in areas you thought didn’t matter. It will give you and humbleness and a boldness that will draw you closer to God. Soon the identity you had so many issues with will begin to line up with the plan of God. As it does, you begin to lose your identity all together and you start to take on the image of the Father.
I would like to share a passage of scripture that has changed the way I look at myself and how I think God sees me. It shows me that it is not just about my identity. It shows me that everything I will ever be is wrapped up in the power and promises of the Father.
2Peter 1:3-11 ESV
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom or our Lord and Savoir Jesus Christ.
M.U.S.C.L.E. 